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As I’m meditating by the trees, the bark pulls out of me, and an infilling of gold like honey remains.

This piece is primarily about Breaking off the past and lies, to arise and go for visions of hope. I’ve been in it. And I know much of the world has been in it.

Letting go of the insecure past is vital for freedom. I encourage you to follow your visions, despite what surroundings look like, or say. It is faith, it is trust in God. And sprinkled in here, are keys to how I’m finding my process.

Last Thursday I had a vision of a hand writing, and pages twirling in the air while soaking to encounter with BSSM. A name came to mind. One that I bless. And one that I pray for. One that the bark is also being pulled out of I can only hope. And one that I have worked hard to detach from like a split tree. Which now every THING of what had remained, has been removed. It’s ever so freeing.

I’m a single mom. With that has come things I never really imagined. First off, I thank God for the unique blessings it brings, like loving supportive human beings all around. I never imagined getting married for a divorce. But I never imagined the pain I’d feel of being stuck, and the rest of the challenges that went with that. To know our own truths, and not deny our experiences is vital. I’m not gonna lie, it’s been real hard. With the particular financial struggles I’ve faced, the tough conversations, the fears from threats, and ultimately not really knowing as much as I wish I knew. Not having it all together, as I’ve always imagined I would. I’m laughing now as I write that, cause who does. And if you do, I urge you to pray for the rest of us! Create purpose by doing it in love and watch what will happen. If every challenge we saw others had, were prayed for or helped with, instead of complained about—life would be different. And this is the life I’m embarking on. It takes practice, strength, and muscle. It’s creating a world of love and through love. Which doesn’t include enabling. For then we need to redefine love, and uproot the lies and disguises from the start…with love. Thank God everyday is a new day!

While I’m processing through certain life challenges today, I can say it is so much easier than what it was when I was stuck in an unhealthy relationship. While I’m working in new levels of freedom, I’m on the searching path to finding more. I have a feeling It’s a continual thing no matter where we end up.

I thank God that I was given a chance for freedom. Note, I said yes. You are the only one that can say yes to breaking free. The feelings I’ve navigated through this have changed over time with the healing I’ve been blessed to recieve. I can say that still, it hasn’t been easy. But it’s easier. And I believe as time goes by, peace will only increase.

Bark being pulled out, and a particular source cut off. So I say yes to the gold honey of Heaven! Which also means me saying yes to not fighting for the old. While I say yes to the vision, I admit these questions I’ve been sweating through. Am I strong enough, smart enough, cool enough, do I make sense, do I have energy. It’s not a subject I can bring up casually to some because then I’d quite possibly hear all their what if’s. And I am done with that language. Plus over all the noise, opinions, arrows, and emotions, what is God saying? For God is an empowering God! So those who want to say any sort of negativity or what ifs, rather pray for God’s provision, direction, and open doors for me, and everyone you think could benefit for open doors. And fully believe that when one door closes, another opens. Let the strategy of Heaven fall down. This doesn’t include striving, fear, confusion, and extra stress. It includes wisdom, love, and peace. Perhaps a period of waiting, which is where our faith is put to test. I’m including a link at the bottom of this page, to some creative stay at home job sites and recommendations I’m excited to get on, including this blog! Create be healed. Be healed and create. Now that’s the cycle I’m jumping on. Which requires cutting off the old cycles as we arise.

As I was going through this decision process of whether to strive to keep something old, or to let go of it and press forward which would require radical trust…I had a vision of tree barks being removed from my heart and ribs—the entire upper body, and I was then filled with gold like liquid honey.

While I processed it over the next few days—a week even, more visions and memories popped up.

A vision of a mom sobbing of all the paperwork, documents, and training she had to keep up with, on top of the work she had to do, without getting the help she needed. Honestly paperwork has already made me cry a lot. I’d prefer not to do more of that kind, after finally finalizing my divorce last fall! I felt so free!!! And I declare this freedom shall only get better!

I’ll never forget my therapist saying many many times, the goal is to make your own money, and everything the dad gives is bonus. I’d laugh and cry at that a lot.

I was reminded of one of my teachers whom her ex left her, and her children. Receiving no help from him, except for the added awful challenges in the beginning, which dissipated eventually. She had her parents nearby as healthy influences for her children.

I moved in with my parents December 24th. First I admit that one of the best parts of it is the continual cooked dinners. I have also learned to worship God like never before on certain days. I have been use to freedom in our own apartment for 3 years, into suddenly feeling like an adult child. Plus I’m a mom. So whatever normal challenges that have come up with having children, have been an added pressure with my parents there. But praise God, new boundaries have been defined, and we are in a better place 6 months later called now. BOUNDARIES! We must fine tune them and create new when necessary. Let the anxiety or anger lead to a helpful, action towards peace and love. It’s a process, and it requires thankfulness. Often I sit here in the mudroom my parents gave me during our temporary stay here. It’s a beautiful boundary. It’s an office. A creative space. What was a tiny square, has become my secret place. And I got to paint it! You know green stripes are on my ceiling!!! Thankfulness and strategy can be found in the secret space.

This decision of saying yes and completely allowing the bark to be removed, and thus putting trust in God as our provider, on another level, will free us on another level. Amen.

After deciding that, I got a check in the mail for a complaint I made to the BBB about my old insurance that stole. They refunded me! Sure I had to fight for that one, or God ultimately did. I wrote two letters of all the facts. One to BBB, and one to the insurance commissioners. I’m not much of a complainer. Although they had unjustly taken all the money out of my account, nearly right before my daughters 8th birthday. I’m over being desperate in that way. God is bigger then all this. And sometimes we have to cut off what we think is security to make room for our best life. I switched to metromile which seems like a better deal if you don’t drive much…time will tell. If you’re in the market to get a new insurance, Check it out.

And listen to I am no victim, by Kristene Demarco!

It is action time!!!

So what to say now! What to do now! Say it with me! All that you want to come Into agreement with! And create your own!

I am a good mom. My children and I live in abundance. We are blessed. God is our provider. I am creative. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (That definitely means rest when needed.)

Create Thank you lists, thank you notes, thank you prayers…this equals a thankful life!

Get inspired by testimonies, things that were impossible that became possible, and those who inspire you!

In preparation for a black lives matter peace walk in Redding California, my youngest daughter and I made signs. As I stared at them in the garage, they became inspiration for me to make more signs. What else do I stand for? And how incredibly inspired I am by all of my black brothers and sisters whom have walked the walk!!! Whom have been rejected, abused, and treated unfairly so many times, and are walking, singing, dancing, creating, and living in freedom. They broke through curses with love, and into freedom!

I’m excited to see the freedom that will come to the world from those who are partnering together for unity, and those who have paved the way in actions of peace. For everyone walking the walk, and the lives we directly touch. Worshipping God is a part of this, and removing all bitterness is done with honoring and knowing our maker. Remove the old bark and the honey of Heaven shall fill our hearts unto the earth. When we honor someone, we can recieve that character strength for ourselves if we so desire. So who are we honoring, and who are we inspired by. What is the result.

I started out small and made signs for the dishes. It’s sort of hysterical, but oh how this is making my job so much easier, living in a house of four generations! Now I don’t have to say these words to my children after every meal! And now I have a whole list of signs in my mind to make, to make everyone’s life easier. And best of all, it is working! Images coming soon with my new Etsy shop!

Who can you lean on? while I know I am loved, certain times I have felt it is only God that I can call on. Or sometimes it’s my cousin Monica. Or this person for that, and that person for this. And I’m in full consideration of seeing a therapist again, with insurance being accepted. As much as I’ve tried to breakthrough on my own, from experience I know, that having someone else you can bring up everything too can help. And if it’s free or doesn’t cost you much in the grand scheme of things, then this could possibly be a game changer. And I also believe to see the fun things in life as therapy!!! Inner health is so important…it’s more important than outer, although they are completely connected. I have so soooooo much to learn, and much that I’d love to have help processing with, with higher council, to ultimately get unstuck faster. Prayers are also powerful! Get online for church services, and pastors and prophets are waiting for your call to pray. Check out Bethel. Check out Expressiom 58, who’ve I’ve called many times for prayer, and fruit is being produced in my life because of these prayer calls!!!!

List what you ultimately want!

I want peace. I want to live a life of dreams. I want to create and produce, and connect, and enjoy my season of rest before beginning school in the fall. It is possible to make money and be at home, 2020 and moving forward! Agree with it! Declare it! Receive it! Do it!

Fine tune your creative process!

Through writing here, It has opened my eyes to the arrows the enemy has tried to give, and empowered me to let them rebound off of me! With only more visions from God landing. The bitterness has to rebound off or be uprooted. Worship God and create through the pain and an exchange of peace hopefully will take place. Create with what you’ve been given, and discover what lands.

Anyhoo, I hope that somehow by me learning to be free, is helping you be free too! I’m a creative in many ways, and so here is part of my journey. Share if you believe this can empower others, and or if you are lead to support in additional ways, see the links below. Thank you for stopping by and hearing me. I appreciate your time!!!!!!! Have a BLESSED day! Live a blessed life!

Linkroll! 🎉

Creative at home jobs to check out!

My Teespring shop!

My Redbubble shop!

Etsy shop Coming soon!

My BSSM account •school of supernatural ministry!

And p.s., if you feel called to be apart of the change as a revivalist, BSSM is now offering its program online!!!

We are all in this together.

Heavens Kingdom realm can be compared to yeast that a women takes and blends into three measures of flour and then waits until all the dough rises. Matthew 13:33 TPT

Baby steps gotta lead somewhere! God Bless you!And take care!


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